In October, when I launched eightstrong, I picked up writing for this community bi-weekly to reflect on this new journey and to connect with you all. This space has always been about sharing and finding truth in connection & storytelling, since I first started writing almost eight years ago, and this will remain true. And, I’m trying something new. In part, to acknowledge and respect my own boundaries – as a human, a working mother and partner, leader and friend – it can be hard just trying to get through the day. Also, because I want to deepen my writing practice – I still write several times each week – and to begin to share this writing, I need to let go of this old practice. Writing remains an important part of my work, and I’m considering how I might connect more deeply & authentically with you all through my writing: how to show up as my multi-faceted self, and, as a writer how to explore through writing “this one wild and precious life” (quoting Mary Oliver). (More to come on this!) Here, and in the interest of curiosity – and as I tell my children, and by extension, myself, we can always change course – why not try something new?
So without further introduction, here’s my something new to share with you all.
Transcript
I recently took a girls trip to DC with five of the six, and it was an opportunity for reconnection with a group of friends. Lifelong friends. We’ve known each other for 20 years and our friendships really started to deepen and grow in our, you know, in our early 20s. And so here we are. Almost 20 years later, and with children and families and partners of our own making and carving out this time for each other. And so we all gathered, and we showed up for each other. And when we get together as a group, it’s always this, like, beautiful balance of nostalgia, telling the old stories, reliving those really funny memories with each other, laughing a ton ton, ton, ton, ton. And so we step into as you do when you come together and these groups of people you’ve known for a long time. We step into these old roles together of the silly one or the series one or the inquisitive one, or just like extra goofy and part of that is who we show up as and part of that is who we expect each other to be in those situations. And sometimes that’s such a fun thing, and sometimes it can be limiting because it doesn’t allow us or encourage us to be curious about these other facets of ourselves that frankly have grown since our early 20s. You know, we weren’t moms in our early 20s. We weren’t young … professionals in our early 20s, we were just trying to figure it out and we still are. And there’s all these new things that we’ve learned and so this came up in conversation and one of my friends had the courage to sort of share out what her experience was with that and we talked about in the midst of a lovely group hug, what it was to be curious of each other and to ask questions of each other. And to not make assumptions. They say that. There’s research that with your partners, sometimes you ask you listen least you make the most assumptions and I think that’s true of lifelong friends, too. And so in this situation, like how does that not always just limit growth but limit our learnings? Of each other and then growth in learning and getting to know each other. And so I’m just curious from this community sort of what your experience has been with showing up for your friends with getting together as a group and you know, stepping into these old, beautiful friendships and how you’ve allowed room for growth and learning and new memories to come alive. I think after that conversation, we all were a little bit softer with each other and we all listened a little bit better. And there was this beautiful balance over some amazing long lunches of just, asking questions and truly not knowing the answer of each other. And so, staying curious with each other, I think is going to be our continual work and it’s something I’m excited to see in the next 5-10, fifteen, 20 years of friendship. And I will say that it allowed us, I think, to be a lot more present, present, present with and for each other. Over the course of the weekend because we were ready to be there together and to experience this new city, this new place together and to sort of see what came of it. So just a few thoughts, that’s eightstrong working with you to be creative and courageous in your leadership and stewardship of your life. Thanks for listening, y’all.