Transcript
Hey, this is just visiting with eightstrong. This weekend was my first daughter’s. What would be her 8th birthday. My Eliana. And Eliana passed away when she was two months old. I think I’ve shared that with the eightstrong community. And so each year, her birthday is this transition in itself filled with anticipation in the days before as I remember what it was for us to wait and wonder about our daughter, and then also to be on the other side of her birth. Which was another form of waiting as she was in the NICU and we waited and wondered what her life would be like and how we would bring her home. And so it’s it’s a day that is special because it was the day that made me a mother. And I want to love and celebrate Eliana. And it’s a hard, hard day. And so each year we’ve done something a little bit different for her birthday and this year was also different because our family has grown and changed since she was born, which has been a gift. And so this year we decided to go to a children’s concert at our one of our favorite local venues, music venues. We brought our three young children to the concert. Youngest is almost two. And it was a time filled with dancing and with bubbles and twirling and excitement and lots of laughter and jams and the levity felt good. It was airing. And it was also hard. Should we laugh on this day that is happy and sad? I don’t know. And I think that’s the question about this kind of transition is I don’t know always what it is I quote should be. And in truth there is no should. We went home after a brunch and did the routine with the kids. Nap time, did our quiet time and later in the day I decided I wanted to get some bubbly for her, so I ran out and got her some flowers. We always used to have fresh flowers around after she died. Some fresh flowers and some bubbly to celebrate her. And when I got home, I said to my partner. There’s nothing about this day is going to feel exactly right because it’s not right. Because she’s not here with us. So we do what we can. And I think the celebrating and the marking of the day is a way to care for and remember her as much as it is to tend to and care for us, who showed up and lived after. So honoring that transition today and in my week, and knowing that these days pass and we still carry what’s hard about that day and the joy of it with me. So as I enter this next transitional stage, the months of February to April, I always need to remind myself are my tough months and they’re also months of transition in our seasons between winter and spring and that wild rocking back and forth, it’s nearly 50° in Chicago today, and the daffodils have started to pop, and I’ve seen some beautiful, shining crocus leaves, and winter is still very much there. The wind, when it blows, still blows cool. And there’s a lot of debris and leftover leaves and brown matter from last year that needs to be cleared away, so we’re still tucked into winter at even as we enter spring. And so as we move from this in this transitional period from winter to spring, in this in between of whatever anniversaries might be present for you over the course of your days and your year, I hope that you can honor and remember those and tend to yourself as you live in and through them, finding beauty and joy in in the day. That’s eightstrong for you and just visiting with eightstrong today, empowering you in creative and courageous leadership.
