“[W]hat I most regretted,” writes poet & feminist writer Audré Lorde, “were my silences.” I had planned to write something different this week. And this – Israel and Gaza, the Palestinian & Israeli lives lost and the weight of the emptiness that remains – asked that I write something different instead. “What are the words […]
“One thing is for sure, you are here And because you are here . . . anything is possible,” writes Kobi Yamada in his children’s book, Maybe. It’s true. The only certainty, I’ve found, is that I am here. It is possible that it tumble forward from there? That in being here, that in simply being, I am beloved. We’ll start with being here, and because I am here, why not – try?
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This feeling of relief – of a safe space to be again – seems to be the reaction of so many people to the election followed, for some, by joy at the possibility of what could be. The space created in this release makes a path forward for returning, for restoration, and then maybe for something new, too. First, though, as a close friend said to me: “Now the healing begins.”
(Healing, connection is) to hold space for each other Read More »
545. 545 children remain separated from their families. 545 and likely more parents, mothers and fathers, grieve the loss of their children today. They join the over 5,500 families that have been separated since 2017, some children as young as four-months old at the time of separation. This was not by accident; it is the result of a systemic and intentional government policy, our government’s policy, designed to separate families at our southern border in order to cause this very harm: family separation and child loss.
May No Loss Be Forgotten Read More »
We share greetings throughout the day. These routine acknowledgments of each other’s presence are thresholds through which we pass on our way, usually, to something else. They are moments of entry and moments of departure, of gathering in and of letting go. In these simple words and acts: saying hello, looking someone in the eye, pausing to hear a response to the question “How are you?” – there is opportunity, and wrapped up in it, power. Too often, though, we, ever focused on the doing, miss the opportunity of these moments on our way to something else. How can we commit to and prepare for these opportunities?
Reimagining the “How are you?” Read More »
We need to name. And then we need to listen, to acknowledge, to hear the name spoken. For speaking a name calls forth that life again as an echo of creation.
Naming, Our Living Read More »
Each year, around this time, my husband and I experience waves of grief, which now feel compounded by the collective losses that we are all experiencing due to COVID-19. These experiences provide ripe opportunities for connection, with my husband, and now, with most everyone, regarding these losses. Yet this connection is not possible without self-compassion: the seed from which the flowers of meaningful and courageous connection bloom.
To Practice Self-Compassion Read More »
One barrier to connection is our instinct to fix rather than to be with someone experiencing something hard. Though well-intended, this practice creates a roadblock to self-reflection and to connection; it signals what is preferable, acceptable, good, even, and what is not. It ignores the cause of the feelings, and in doing so, denies a foundation for meaningful connection: self-compassion.
Sitting in the dark, waiting Read More »
What in daily living mattered when life itself felt on hold? In these moments, I welcomed nature’s unceasing movement forward to keep time for me. And I found meaning in the ordinary. Because, to my surprise, I learned that despite the stillness, sunup and sundown, the world continues to turn and us with it.
Grief and the uncertainty that comes with loss is an experience shared by most right now. Together we grieve the loss of physical gathering and relationship, of feeling secure in navigating public spaces, of our routines of home and school and work and play, and for some, the loss of loved ones to the pandemic. That this is a shared experience presents us with a unique opportunity.
Courage to Connect Read More »
